Here to bore you with another one of my tales

The Quest for Twisted Movies

2007-10-28T03:59:00.000+08:00

I'm shamelessly insatiable when it comes to watching movies. Not normal movies, mind. I've gone independent.

Then again, I used to roll my eyes at friends who loved to deviate from the norm. To them, it wasn't cool if you admitted to listening to Backstreet Boys or to watching Titanic. As long as something received hype from more than 40% of the general population, it was considered too mainstream.

My friends would check out weird titles like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", "The Constant Gardener" and "Closer". Meanwhile, I struggled to stay on the mainstream path by watching "Harry Potter", "Kingdom of Heaven", and other yawn-worthy flicks because I thought if the movie can receive so much hype, it MUST surely be a good indicator.

My film repertoire remained within the mainstream-and-very-typical-Hollywood-flicks circle until about a year ago. I watched Perfume in the cinema and lo and behold, I was hooked. That movie made me stare at the screen in wonder from the start to the finish. Not once did I yawn. I was not even tempted to lie back. Hell, I was on the edge of my seat each and every second of the screening!

That movie was such a blast that I was left feeling breathless. Then came the search for movies that had a similar genre to Perfume. A friend recommended "Fight Club", "Butterfly Effect" and "Wicker Park" to me, all of which I have downloaded and enjoyed immensely! And came some more from the mainstream-deviating friend I mentioned above: "21 grams", "American Beauty", "Magnolia", "Happiness", "Me and You and Everyone We Know", "Pan's Labyrinth" and the list goes on and I think I enjoyed every single movie I watched - just because it was different.

And it should be, because most of the movies I have just mentioned are independent films, films that don't need to conform to the Hollywood marketing ploy. Films that still receive nominations and awards nevertheless. Films that generate enough profit through the sale of DVDs than cinema tickets. Films that I can actually sit through without feeling like I'm attending a lecture.

I'm now on a quest to give myself kicks out of finding good independent movies. I just hope there are enough out there before I run out of things to watch.

Since May 18th I have...

2007-10-25T12:12:00.000+08:00

... sat for, and PASSED (hip hip hooray the Gods must favor me *despite my agnosticism*) professional exam number 2, Financial Mathematics! I strongly doubt my ability to replicate this feat.

... flew to New York

... flew to Los Angeles, thereby establishing it as my favorite city in the whole of US!

... sat for, and PASSED (I swear I must have been super-duper lucky) professional exam number 1, Probability!

... moved off-campus to a darling of an apartment that is just 5 minutes away from Drake

... thrown a house party that was on par with the likes of a fraternity one

... tried paintballing, and received a paintball-hickey on my thigh from my darling housemate

... attempted to cook, and failed, a couple of times (note: chicken rice that was first raw, then turned into porridge after the addition of a LOT of water)

... been excited to take a class in Visual Basic Application, but was disappointed greatly when the class turned out to be a failure

... become a rebel and dropped above-mentioned Visual Basic class despite all the prostestations from fellow classmates.

... realized that the Derivatives Markets part of Actuarial Science is a pain in the arse.

... started playing truant (only for the above-mentioned Derivatives Markets class though)

... made plans to go to Turkey at the end of the year

... decided that applying for work in the US may require too much effort. Hence will return to Malaysia in May 2008

... made up my mind that I will try to conquer the rollercoasters in the Midwest before leaving this country!

Long overdue, but it's here

2007-05-18T07:31:00.000+08:00

I thought I've given up blogging. Guess not.

Need a place to rant for a while. Most of my friends are back in Malaysia, meaning they wouldn't be online right now because no one between the ages of 20-22 wake up at 7.30 in the morning.

And I so need to bitch and rant...

...about nothing much in particular. Save for the fact that I've fucked up 2/5 of my Finals, and about to fuck up a professional paper next Friday. You know what? I think it's due to my lack of good time management. I should probably cut down on the socializing, the working, and the general chilling-out.

Somehow this major of mine is getting harder and harder to handle. You'd think that if I spent more time on it, that I'd be able to understand it. Yeah right. I now have the absorbency rate of a retard because every single thing doesn't come to me the first time. If I get it after the 3rd or 4th try, it will eventually be forgotten the next week when I try to call upon it. So much for studying.

And I've given up, yes, given up bad. Look at me now-slouched in the chair typing this entry when I should be cleaning my bowl of unfinished dinner, getting back that dratted book which I should be studying from, and sitting down and actually reading it. Guess that won't happen for another 10 minutes.

I want to give up. Drake University is now a place of torture (think: hell) and I don't think I can associate US with a place of knowledge and fun. Then again, maybe all that alcohol has killed my brain cells and rendered me stupid. Sigh.

Dog's not well

2006-12-16T08:52:00.000+08:00

I'm busy with studying for Finals. I think that's obvious from my lack of posts as of late.

So I was extremely o_O when I received this email:

____________________________________________________________________
For Immediate Release Friday, Dec. 15, 2006

Drake Athletics Concerned With Well Being of Beloved Mascot Spike

DES MOINES, IOWA - The Drake Athletic Dept. has become overwhelmingly concerned with the wellbeing and health of longtime mascot Spike.

As of late, Spike has been displaying some uncharacteristic behavior, such as the inability to perform his mascot duties to maximum efficiency and tiring quickly when appearing at Drake home events.

Since Spike plays such an important role in energizing not only the teams here at Drake, but also the fans, the Drake Athletic Department has decided to take immediate action for the wellbeing of its mascot.

Drake Athletics Director Sandy Hatfield Clubb, has collected an expert team to evaluate, diagnose and improve Spike's ability to perform up to the winning legacy that the entire Drake family is building.

"Spike is an important and beloved family member, who desperately needs our help," said Drake Director of Athletics Sandy Hatfield Clubb. "We will get him the help he needs to all that he can be."

If his health allows it, after a thorough physical Spike may be put on a rigorous exercise and nutrition plan by the Drake Wellness staff to rejuvenate him and allow him to serve the Drake family for years to come.

We are all hoping for a speedy turnaround for Spike, and we know that he will set the standard for all Bulldogs to follow.

*Bulldogs*

--

Anthony M. Reynolds

Assistant Sports Information Director

Drake University

2507 University Ave.

Des Moines, IA 50311

Phone: 515-271-3740

Fax: 515-271-3015

www.drakebulldogs.org

_________________________________________________________________

If you're still wondering who Spike is, here's a picture of him/it:

I really felt like replying the sender with a fist attached to the email.

Squirrels in Action

2006-11-16T09:04:00.000+08:00

Back in Malaysia, cats and dogs are constantly seen prowling the streets. Over here, you get your garden variety of squirrels, chipmunks, and rabbits!

This is not your Subang Jaya sort of hybrid squirrel with measly brush of a tail

They're so abundant over here, it's a wonder why no critter control has been enacted. A stray dog in good ol' Malaysia would have been caught by the city council, subjected to the dog pound (if it's lucky), or be put to sleep (if it's not so lucky).

Then again, I'm sure your heart would melt when you catch a glimpse of one of these cute creatures. I had the good fortune of having a chipmunk sighting a few months back.

And just this afternoon, I had the chance of watching Animal Planet, up close and personal:

Quick Update

2006-11-16T08:52:00.000+08:00

Let's see. If I can complete this entry, then it will mark my first ever blog post since like, forever. OK, forever here means 85 days. And yes, it has been that long since I stepped foot on US soil.

Before I get down to one of those posts with a proper title and one-track body, perhaps I should do a recap to update you on what I have been doing these past few months, counting down from:

4. Fake snow aka flurries (12th October 2006)

The prelude to the real one!

3. Lockdown! (11th November 2006)

It was a dark, chilly, winter's night (OK OK it wasn't winter just yet). Everywhere, silence prevailed. Security guards prowled the perimeter, searching, searching for someone. Someone potentially dangerous.

***

I coolly walked out of my dorm in search of food. Was surprised when I realized the dorm's front door was locked from the outside, and a few stragglers were ringing the doorbell for the receptionist to let them through. I walked outside, and was immediately hailed by a campus security guard.

"Where are you going?"

"To Hubble" (Hubble is the campus dining hall)

"Must you go out? Everywhere is kinda closing"

"I'm going to eat my dinner" (like duh it's 6pm=dinner time, and what do you mean everywhere is closing? I want my food!)

*Hesitant, but relenting nevertheless* "OK OK but just be careful"

Uh-oh. Everyone's acting a bit suspicious now, aren't they? First, the locking of the dorm doors. We don't get locked out of our dorms until past 11! Secondly, campus security don't strut around the campus, not so often anyway. And they definitely do not walk if they have cars to drive!

I managed to milk a little bit of information out of that guy. Apparently the security guard needed to find someone. And obviously, that translates to: Someone potentially dangerous is on the loose! A psychotic asylum inmate! A gun-wielding dude seeking to be the next mass murderer!

Despite having such thoughts in my head, I still continued on with my journey to Hubble. Which, come to think of it now, was a stupid thing to do. Hey, my stomach was controlling my brain alright.

Went to Hubble, and not even 5 minutes later the supervisor announced that there was going to be a lockdown. Everyone was sporting enough not to cause a stir (I guess this is normal for them?), and continued with their eating.

So, the official story: A guy was chasing another guy with a gun at the nearby post office. Security eventually got things under control (actually we're still unsure as of yet as to whether they even managed to catch the person).

Now, who dare say Subang Jaya is dangerous... rethink what you're saying, because people here have guns OK.

2. Getting drenched with snow... in Autumn (11th November 2006)

When I was out that fateful morning, it felt extra chilly, what with the wind blowing hard, and the weather looking gloomy. Who would have thought it would have snowed -_-. Come on, this is just November, we're in the midst of Autumn, a few days ago the sun was shining as bright and as hot as it would have been back in Malaysia! I was happily grocery shopping in Walmart, blissfully unaware of the weather conditions outside, until I checked out all my goods, returned the cart and went... WTF. Proceeded to panic because I didn't know whether to call someone to pick me up, waste my money on a taxi ride, or to brave the snow and just use the bus as usual. I eventually took the last option.

After donning on a proper winter coat with scarf and beanie to match

1. Rubbing shoulders with Michael J Fox (31st October 2006)

He may be 45 years old, married with a wife and 4 kids, a retired actor, and diagnosed with Parkinson's... but he's still one of my all-time favorite actors. Hey, I used to drool over him even when I was 8 or 9 OK. Mr Fox came down to Drake as part of Chet argh-who-cares-about-him-MJF-is-more-important Culver's political campaign to talk about stem-cell research.

Nearly died of fright when the lady taking our photo said that my camera didn't work. Thankfully the camera was just in Video mode, hence no snap happened

Fake or real?

2006-08-06T20:10:00.000+08:00

I hate wearing spectacles. I really do. It's bad enough that I'm a nerd. I don't need to give people extra ammo by having another pair of eyes. That's why I invest in contact lenses.

[This sooo enhances my nerd appeal]

But this time, knowing that I am only a specs wearer by night (or any other times when few people chance to see me), I feel a strange confidence budding inside. So what if I buy a pair of spectacles that is full framed + broad + pink in color, and walk around for the whole world to see (during off-peak hours, of course)?

This pair blew RM130++ off my dad. I was pretty happy with this purchase though. A Swatch, yet cheap. Fine, it's not branded branded and I definitely cannot compare with the Guccis or the Armanis, but at least it's not from the pasar malam.

[Is this cool or what?!]

Or so I thought.

[Erm... this is not coming apart, right?]

Upon closer inspection of the (tacky looking) case, I discovered that the Swatch sticker looked like it was just pasted on a few minutes ago, and didn't manage to hold on tightly enough.

So, what am I supposed to make of this? Should I continue to delude myself that this is, after all, a genuine Swatch? How can I tell? Am I to be given a Certificate of Authenticity, warranty or what???

[Guess I can't gloat over how there's Swatch written on this too]

Getting ready to fly!

2006-07-28T21:00:00.000+08:00

OK maybe not yet.

Today I went out shopping for essentials. You know, clothes hanger, shampoo and the like. I filled two baskets with my stuff; even mum was complaining that I might not be able to bring all those shit with me, what with the weight limit imposed on my luggage and all. Bought them anyway - can always leave things I don't really need like foolscape paper and dish washing liquid behind. Whatever it was, dad went pale when the total amount was rung up on the cash register.

24 days until I am actually there, and requiring all the stuff I just bought!

Then again, I feel like a traitor for being so happy about this leaving business. But it's hard to mask the excitement of meeting new people, new sights, new everything! It's strange when all the while you'd be thinking: OMG I can't wait to step foot on new soil, and somebody (parents, boyfriend, friends - you take a pick) tells you he/she is going to miss you, you don't know if you should backtrack on your feelings, or feel guilty about feeling the way you do.

Complicated shit.

Markers

2006-06-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

Yup, very useful when it comes to three-point turns.

First was the pile of rocks. Instructor will be screaming: “Go go go! Don’t stop until your shoulders are parallel with the rocks!” And on the day of the driving tests? The JPJ testers coolly kicked loose the pyramid, much to the chagrin of both instructors and students alike.

Next was the brainchild of my own instructor – to plant a tree! It was more of a small leafy thing that eventually wilted because no one cared to water it.

Then another instructor came along with another greenery. That was last week. This one seemed to have more chance of survival because it was pretty lush looking.

Today I turned into the small alley for a shot at three-point turning. I had just straightened out my car when I looked right, and lo and behold! I had no marker as a reference!!!

Upon consulting my instructor (because thank God that wasn’t an exam), I was told that the JPJ had kindly uprooted the poor plant during the last testing.

Me: *Panicky voice* “So what do I look out for now?”
Instructor: “OK, see this roadside curb? Use the 2nd black one from the front.”
Me: *Heaves sigh of relief and thinks: at least the JPJ can’t destroy that one*

Again, this proves that Malaysian education is useless. We study by memorizing things, or carry out actions by following markers. What if I’m on the road? Do I take time to count the curb’s colorings? Or look out for scratches upon the road for my side parking? Education in Malaysia is useless I tell you.

Biology, revisited

2006-06-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

WARNING: This post contains a recount of an extremely gross event. If you are eating anything right now (especially mangoes), please save the reading for later when you have digested your food.

I took a shower after doing my business in the toilet. While cleaning up the holemostofyoupervertswanttoenterthemost, I brushed against something. I tried scrubbing it vigorously with my index and middle finger – didn’t work. This seems to be one hell of a stubborn piece of shit! I thought, and scrubbed even harder. Then it occurred to me that it was not something stuck on the rim of my anus. It was something dangling out of it.

I tugged at it, because hey! What else could I do? Leave that hanging there until the next time I want to excrete? It was disgusting I tell you. I pulled out nearly 3 inches of that thing, and throughout the whole time? I just felt all weirded out.

It was like I was doing what nature was supposed to do for me naturally. Tugging out your own shit is basically not one of the involuntary reflexes. But I did it anyway.

Turns out it was the fiber from the mangoes I consumed just this afternoon (I had to check in case it was a worm or other). This hereby proves what we have all learned in high school – fiber is not digested by the stomach because we’re not cows!

But I guess my fiber didn’t co-operate with the rest of the bulk of my shit.

What I'm doing pre-Drake

2006-06-10T20:59:00.000+08:00

Seriously, whenever I go through my monthly/yearly expenses, I roll my eyes at what I have spent on.

Why the fuck do I pay RM20++ just to get into a theme park? Why the need to have such cheap thrills? As if I don’t get enough of a heart attack each time I sit for a test. Now, I hand people cash to deliver those adrenaline-inducing moments to me.

Point is, I don’t even rush to the cliché rides all you people go for:

The rollercoaster

The machine that jerks you unceremoniously left right up down (aptly and creatively named DNA Mixer in Cosmo World Theme Park)

The machine that shoots you high up into the sky, allows you a few precious moments of dangling in the air, and that lets you free fall afterwards (Solero Shot in Genting Highlands Theme Park)

Of course, since I have paid a total of RM20++, I have to make it worth my money. So, I do end up rushing and queuing like a total loser for the “best rollercoaster ride this side of the country”.

You ask: why even bother stepping over the threshold of loser land (and paying for it mind you), when all I could do is sit at home, enjoy a cup of tea, and stop whining?

I tell you why.

I totally dig bumper cars.

Or even better, go-karts.

Those tiny make-believe cars were the closest I ever had to driving a real machine back when I was 18. (Don’t laugh. I only started driving lessons at age 20). It felt so exhilarating, the way I could control the machine. Boy, it was even cooler that I could overtake most of the boys on the track! Because of that, I was always eager to learn how to drive – on the road, with a real car.

And that chance was finally seized just a few weeks back when I signed up for driving class.

First off though, I had to go through the hurdle of the pointless 5-hour talk. I don’t see what was the fucking use of having someone go through PowerPoint slides one by one and rattle off them. Come on, I could understand the content easily enough by reading the law book.

Then I realized just how daunting reading the book actually proved to be.

For one, the text was just so horribly wrong in grammar, punctuation and whatnots, I feared greatly for my weak understanding in Bahasa Malaysia after reading through it. The kind JPJ (Road Ministry) people also had this other book which contained 500 mock questions to enhance our knowledge. In fact, it was promised that if you perused the book and answered all questions, you would have no problems at all passing the test.

I had two different copies of the 500 question book (different publications apparently). So, being extra hardworking, I decided to do both of them. Guess what I found.

Each book boasted of 500 questions. Yeah right, that’s more like 250 questions repeated twice, but placed in random order.

There were different answers to some of the repeated questions in a single book

The 2 different publications also boasted of different answers to strikingly similar questions

No wonder Malaysia is not as advanced as other countries. We can’t even keep our facts straight in order to instill knowledge in our children.

During the computerized law test itself (felt like TOEFL but less advanced), I had the great opportunity to sit next to this faggot WHO. WAS. BEING. A. TOTAL. ASSHOLE. (and an illiterate one too)

When you are in front of the computer, you will be greeted by this screen with a textbox. Reading through the surrounding text will tell you that you have to type in your IC number.

Asshole came waltzing into the room, plonked down on his seat, and probably sat there in stunned silent stupidity. Take note that I was already answering question number 16 or other by then.

Asshole looks over to my cubicle and proceeds to ask: what do I fill in this blank spot? Do I write my name?

HELLO!

Read la! It clearly tells you to fill in your IC number what. Besides, I don’t think the government could care less what fancy name you were christened with. To them, we are all just a bunch of numbers anyway.

Another proof that he couldn’t fucking read: Right outside the examination room was a BIG sign prohibiting handphones. Heck, I even had to leave my wallet outside the room with the receptionist. But this asshole brought his handphone in. This jerk even had the nerve to leave it loud and ringing for the world to hear! And yes, he coolly answered each and every call or message during the exam.

Then there was yet another talk to attend – this one to teach us how to change car wheels and oil. *snorts* Apparently the JPJ wanted to educate helpless females in the event that they are left stranded on the road with a burst wheel. Yeah, the instructor was even citing examples of females getting raped because they asked passing motorists for help.

Funny thing was, the only activity we did was to crowd around a car and to watch as the instructor pointed out various car parts, and to demonstrate how he changed the wheel. By the end of it, the message clearly sent out was: just call for assistance from a nearby mechanic. Helpful, eh?

Never mind. I was still psyched up for driving class.

And then I realized my driving instructor was a total bastard. For one, he seemed to think the world was laid at his feet, and that he controlled the works. He was coolly telling me how he holds some sort of power over the JPJ officers. You see, in order to be legally allowed out onto the road, you have to be tested first by the JPJ. Failure rates are extremely high, but it’s usually due to the JPJ having some sort of stupid quota to follow. Like, there must be 3/10 failures in each testing or the officer might be suspected of not doing his job well.

It’s even worse when your own instructor is the one who makes you fail.

Because that’s what happened to one poor girl who had the cheek to insult the above-mentioned driving instructor (oh, the nerve!). He boasted that he told the JPJ to fail her, even though she had no problems driving on the road.

Do I hear a threat in that or what?

It means I can’t voice my opinions to him if I really did hate him (and I do, mind you). It means I have to be constantly sweet and on his side. It means when we talk I have to boost his ego and make him like me.

Ugh.

And he was a lazy bastard alright. I have 1 hour lessons and 3 hour breaks. Breaks are pointless to me because what am I supposed to do then? Take out my cigarette and have a long deep puffing session? There are no shops around that deserted driving place for me to browse around. All I can do is sit and watch the happenings at the reception desk, marvel at how skanky the boss’wife dresses, or debate whether the boss’ son is more to cute or to pretty boy material.

Not only that, this driving instructor is soooo tardy. He tells me he’ll pick me up at 9, but he comes at 10 because he overslept. He tells me 9 the next lesson, but he doesn’t even appear at all. I called him at 10.

Me: Where are you?
Him: *distracted tone of voice* Oh I’m at the driving place already.
Me: *thinks what the fuck* So are we having driving class today?
Him: Yeah yeah. Maybe late afternoon.
Me: *pressing on* What time exactly?
Him: 3, 4 something?
Me: OK.

I waited the whole day in my going-out clothes. Didn’t change to normal wear until 6, when it was clear the fucker was not going to show.

Dad was fuming on my behalf, and decided to give the guy a piece of his mind. Uh-oh, I thought. There goes my driver’s license. (Remember it’s a sin to insult this god of a man?)

Thank goodness this lazy bastard has this policy: teach the student for 3 lessons or so, and pass student on to another instructor.

So before I developed the idea of changing instructors, I was whisked off to another one anyway.

The new guy is apparently the helper of the bastard, and I think his sifu’s teachings are slowly wearing off on him. For one, he is tardy too!

But more about that. Let me tell you about this other girl who is annoying the hair off my scalp.

She talks with this grating voice that commands respect and attention (and she’s only 17 = kid). She is demanding. She whines a lot.

Take for example the day my new driving instructor decided to follow in his master’s footsteps and be late. She was having a fit and was screaming and throwing a tantrum at him in a car full of strangers. This bitch had the nerve to answer rudely and snappishly at whatever excuses/reasons the instructor gave. I was thinking to myself: hey girl, I’ve been ffk-ed on a grander scale than you alright.

Another case in point: this driving instructor had his hands full of students, so he asked if we minded not having a class for one week. Well, I was disappointed, but I didn’t make as big a fuss as she did. The instructor was writing in his appointment book and trying to arrange us in to as convenient a time as possible; and there she was, clawing and snatching at the pages. Be a bit more ladylike, can?

Yet just when I thought I’d be free of driving instructor 1’s assholicness, I ended up feeling the second-hand sting of it. Both of us girls were supposed to have more intense driving lessons today. However, before either one of us got more than a spin on the road, driving instructor 2 was summoned to go pick up driving instructor 1’s students. So, we were forced to be sent home.

It’s one thing if you want to earn more money by taking on more students, but another for you to be an irresponsible bastard and to give them crappy lessons. Or to cause your helper to give his students crappy lessons too.

Because of all that, the initial enthusiasm I had in driving is slowly wearing off and dwindling down to nothing. There’s nothing cool about learning about something new but having no time to practice it. It’s a waste of my bloody time. The worse thing of all? You can’t even pick up the phone to screw the bastard nicely. You have to bear all this when in reality your anger is really about to burst and to bash him up as much as possible.